It's Friday, and, as you know by now, at Tini Grails we believe a great martini experience is "all in the glass." As such, we've researched the martini glass, its history, its legendary iconography, its everything. Along the way we've stumbled on some commonly held myths that we felt, in good faith to you, we would go ahead and dispel.
Let us know if we missed anything.
#10. If you dial 1-800-MARTINI you will be magically transported to Tini Land.
Not true. This rumor was tracked back to a bartender in New Orleans named "Chevy." Fact is, that number goes to Sunglasssales.com, so unless it's super sunny out don't bother.
#9. If a martini glass breaks, an angel loses its wings.
We believe this one is probably true, but we have no evidence to support that belief. So this one remains a mystery.
#8. A martini glass would make an excellent President of the United States.
Unfortunately a martini glass cannot form any coherent thoughts, nor can it utter them with any eloquence. So, no. Or wait...
#7. Martini glasses are not part of NASA's mission to Mars.
False. NASA acknowledged recently that there are, in fact, Fridays on Mars. They are slightly less frequent than ours on Earth, but they do happen nonetheless. Plus, if the mission fails, our doomed astronauts can at least go down swigging something delicious.
#6. Tini Grails is pronounced "tiny grails."
No, no, no. It's like there's an apostrophe indicating a contraction on the word "Martini" - or, 'Tini. So Tini Grails is pronounced - tee-nee grails.
#5. Love is all you need.
The Beatles got this half right. Fact is, love and an awesome martini glass are all you need.
#4. A martini glass was once dragged of a United Airlines flight.
Not true to our knowledge. And if it were, we'd have words.
#3. A set of identical martini glasses is the only way to go.
Far from it. They're boring. In fact, having different martini glasses in a single collection improves the self-esteem of each individual glass. We have science that proves this fact.
#2. Martini glasses when shut away in a dark cupboard turn into "Tini Fairies" that waft to your bar set-up and dissipate an inch or so of gin from every bottle you have.
While it's true that if you had beautiful martini glasses you would have them out for all to see and not stashed away in a dark place, no one has yet provided any evidence whatsoever as to the existence of these "Tini Fairies." We suspect the gin depletion is far more likely due to any adventurous teens in the household.
#1. If I order martini glasses today on May 5, 2017, there's no way I'll get them by Mother's Day.
Total falsehood. Order now and you'll be fine. You can probably order between now and Monday, May 8th, too and be fine but it gets a little dicier every day after that.
So there you have it. We do our best to separate fact from fiction here at Tini Grails. As more myths come to our attention, we will address them.
Happy Grailin'! And a Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there!
- Will Burns, Owner Tini Grails